


“you’re the piano man”

by dyve_the_author



Series: Venting Through My Comfort Characters/Kins [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Mentioned Bro Strider - Freeform, POV Davesprite, POV Second Person, Past Abuse, Trauma Including a Piano, personal, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26392243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyve_the_author/pseuds/dyve_the_author
Summary: you find a piano and it glares at you. you’re not sure why, but you finally decide to sit down and play it. with shaking hands, you press down the C minor chord.
Relationships: Davesprite/John Egbert
Series: Venting Through My Comfort Characters/Kins [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918072
Kudos: 8





	“you’re the piano man”

**Author's Note:**

> this is my outlet for venting so if you don’t want to listen to me at the end of any of these kinds of stories then skip the end notes.

you find a piano and it glares at you. you’re not sure why, but you finally decide to sit down and play it. with shaking hands, you press down the C minor chord. the sudden noise scares you a bit. you sigh and go back to playing a song. what song should you play? _you’re the piano man_. you look above you. you can see the night sky. all those stars remind you of how minuscule you feel. they also bring you full circle to why you’re here. _john_. it was all john. he’s the reason you decided to play piano in the first place. he learned how to play it when he was young. you chuckle at the thought of a tiny john pressing down piano keys.

you mainly started to play piano because you wanted to impress him. back then, you wouldn’t have said that was the reason but you’ve matured now and you know for sure that’s the reason why. you enjoyed it, for the most part, and even used it as a background for some of your music. it was another way for you to get out your feelings when there was no one to talk to. but alas, all good things must come to an end. your dad had found out about the piano. he bought it for you, obviously, and you’re surprised he agreed. at some point, however, he had started to pressure you into playing the thing. he’d check in here and there to make sure you were actually playing it, which you were. you played that thing like your life depended on it. you’re not sure why he didn’t hear you. he even had cameras everywhere and yet he didn’t know? “ _you’re the piano man_ ” he’d say. 

the piano was the best thing that had happened to you. you would play it after strifing to get your mind right and to help you ignore the new scars. you told yourself that it was your favorite instrument. you told john about it too. he seemed surprised and proud all at once. he didn’t even question when and why you decided to pick it up, which you were happy about. it was at this point you had noticed small things about john. you noticed how his taste for bad movies was almost ironic in a nerdy and dorky kind of way. it was almost adorable to you. you realized what kind of territory you were headed towards when you thought of all the small things you liked about john, so you repressed it. pretended you were nothing but bros. at one point you recorded yourself playing the piano and showed him. he seemed impressed and you felt weirdly happy. you finally reached your goal with impressing your friend. soon you had become a god at piano. _you’re the piano man._ you could play anything you’d wanted. until your breaking point.

one day after an extremely painful strife, you had decided to play piano to get your mind off of it. your fingers wandered aimlessly amongst the keys and you had started to play a little tune. however, you couldn’t hear the tune at all. it sounded almost silent against the sound of swords clashing amongst each other in your ears. you cried for the first time playing that piano. you looked at the keys and could feel your dad’s eyes on you. you have to master the piano, you told yourself. your dad had started to really pressure you into playing it. he had forced you to play songs in front of him to prove that you were playing it. it started to feel more like a requirement and less of a hobby. you wouldn’t say anything though. _you’re the piano man_ , you’re only there to play a jaunty tune. 

one day you’d had enough. you were playing one of your original works and you couldn’t hear the keys anymore. you cried and played the rest of the song without hearing a thing. the sound had gotten to you. you heard the final C minor chord and broke down immediately after. you cried so much. your walls were completely destroyed, crushed far beyond the point of repair. it would take you years to build them up again. you crumbled as your mind raced. your first thought was john. he was the reason you did all of this, but also the reason you found out you liked guys. you didn’t think it could be true. what kind of person would you be if you liked guys? that wasn’t something you wanted to dwindle on for too long. your next thought was bro. what would he think when he finds out you did this whole thing to impress some guy? the man had become an unstoppable force as you grew up. the more you pushed the more he shoved. you had stopped pushing a long time ago, but he hadn’t. you didn’t want to stop playing piano for fear of what he would do. you wanted to keep playing, but you couldn’t. it was just such a hard thing to do. you had made it a habit to play at least once or twice a day, but as soon as you sat in front of it you felt intimidated. you cried every time you sat down to play it or even just looked at it. you were at the lowest point in your life. but you couldn’t give up _you’re the piano man_. 

after a while, you decided to stop playing the piano. it was a quick transition but that doesn’t mean it was easy. there was always something telling you that you were a failure if you didn’t play the piano anymore. as more time passed, it was something you could let go. you refused to touch it and didn’t play a single key. bro seemed to have noticed the change, but didn’t say anything. you told yourself not to tell him. his suspicions were already high enough and if you told him it’d end horribly for you. _you don’t have to be the piano man_. 

you blink and you remember that you’re in front of a piano again. a lot has happened between now and when you first started playing it. you’ve mostly gotten over it and the thought even escapes your mind sometimes. but looking at one or even hearing the slightest press of a key sends you down a spiral. it brings you back to that time in your life. the time when you were in danger and didn’t even know it. you look at the piano in front of you and sigh. just the sound of the C minor key was enough to startle you. you’ve forgotten the majority of what you’ve learned despite playing it for such a long time. however, you did try and repress everything regarding the piano. you get up from the piano seat. you get that same old feeling again and break down. you cry once again remembering everything that’s happened between now and then. you feel disappointed with yourself for at least not trying to carry on. you could’ve been great at it, but you weren’t. you didn’t try hard enough. your hands shake as you think back to what could’ve been. 

you look back up that the sky. the stars seem smaller than before. you can see john again. you can see his face and you can see him smile. it brings back the old feelings you’ve had before. you feel the butterflies again. your crush on him hasn’t changed one bit. you’re honestly kind of relieved. the piano stares at you again. you feel intimidated again. you can feel your dad’s eyes staring at you in disappointment and anger at the person you’ve become. more tears spill out of your eyes. you can feel something on your shoulder and you stiffen up. “hi davesprite!” it’s john. you turn around. “what’s up dude?” you’re really hoping he doesn’t notice the tears, but he notices right away. “what’s wrong davesprite?” he asks. “nothing. it’s just,” john cuts you off when he notices, “the piano.” you’re silent. does he know?

”it’s the piano right?” his thoughts all click together. you shakily nod. he stops for a second, “what happened?” you don’t want to get into details right now, so you just sort of stare at him for a bit. “is it that bad?” he inquires. you nod again. “oh alright then.” you’re both quiet. does he know about how you feel for him? what do you even say now? he knows about the piano what else is there to talk about? you’re about to play it cool and fly away when he gently grabs your hand. “hey, you know you don’t have to be the piano man right?” he says. you freeze. “you don’t always have to be there to play the music or to keep the flow going, you can take a break sometimes. the show will always have a song.” he elaborates. you can feel your emotions working up again so you nod before any of them can be expressed, “thanks john.” he nods in response, “you know you can talk to me too right? it doesn’t always have to be rose.” you chuckle, “yeah i know.” he gives you a quick smile and leaves. you look back at the piano, still a little bit put off by it. but for now the stage is set, and it’s time for the show to go on. 

your name is davesprite, and you are no longer the piano man. 

**Author's Note:**

> this was based on an actual experience i had with a piano once. it’d been years since i tried to play it and i can only remember the basics now. i’ve refused to touch it for 5 years but just recently i decided to play it and everything just came rushing back to me. i found that i just couldn’t play it anymore without me being scared. 
> 
> i decided to put davesprite in my place because i thought it was fitting, but also because he’s one of my main comfort characters. (i may or may not kin him but shhhhh). i think that’s all i have to say about this story, but other than that have a good rest of your day/night.


End file.
